The one skill 98% of people are missing
Missed last week? — Catch up on the archive here
Hey Reader,
James Dyson built 5,126 vacuums that didn’t work.
Five thousand. One hundred. Twenty six.
Most people would’ve quit after ten. Maybe fifty if they were stubborn. Meanwhile, this guy built thousands of prototypes that literally… sucked
Until number 5,127 became the first bagless vacuum that “never lost suction.”
That one made him a billionaire.
Here’s what most people get wrong about that story.
They hear it and think: “Wow, he really stuck with it!”
No.
He didn’t “stick with it.”
He began again 5,126 times.
There’s a difference, and the difference holds the key to getting the life you want.
Just a few weeks ago, you probably found yourself doing what we all do around New Year’s. Writing down goals.
Feeling that surge of “this is my year” energy.
Maybe you said things like “I’m 100% committed” or started waking up at 5 am, locked in, expecting to go max until the goal is achieved.
And when it inevitably doesn’t go as planned, when we slip, when life gets in the way, we think we failed.
The biggest trap I’ve seen keeping people stuck is thinking commitment is binary. You’re somehow either all in or you’re out.
Therapists actually have a pretty good name for this. In cognitive behavioral therapy, they call it “all or nothing thinking.” You’re in this trap when you see things through extremes:
Success or failure.
Winner or loser.
On purpose or off.
In shape or out of shape
There’s zero middle ground. And when there’s zero middle ground you only get one shot to make something happen. Good luck nailing anything on the first try.
The solution isn’t committing harder. It’s not more discipline. Of course those matter, but most achievers I know are already way too hard on themselves. Adding more pressure to a dam that’s already cracking doesn’t help.
The real answer? Commitment was never the thing that mattered.
Recommitment is.
It looks like this:
Recommitment is getting back on your diet for the fifth time after a week of binge eating and being up five pounds, but ending the year at your goal weight anyway.
Recommitment is the entrepreneur who posts video after video with no one watching. Grueling over every line in the editor to the point of where you’re so sick of your own voice you want to scream (me in 2016 btw).
All while scrolling through income reports of other creators thinking “what am I doing wrong?” But you keep showing up. And after five years without anything to show for it, somewhere around year six, it finally clicks, and you have the freedom you’ve always dreamed of and people asking you how you did it.
The unsexy truth is that’s the real story.
Not the commitment.
The recommitment.
So if you’re in that season right now where it feels like nothing’s working and you’re wondering why everyone else seems to have it figured out, here’s a reframe a coach gave me and helped me get through:
Are you being punished, or are you being prepared?
Looking back on my five years of nothing, I realize every “failed” video taught me something I’d use later. Every hour editing, every script that flopped, every strategy that didn’t work. Nothing was wasted, it was all preparation I just couldn’t see.
I think about this a lot lately, especially with what’s coming up in my own life.
I’m getting married this year.
Naturally, I’ve read all the top books on marriage, talked to friends who’ve been at it for years, and collected plenty of advice.
And the thing everyone keeps telling me has nothing to do with venues or guest lists or whether the signature cocktail has a meaningful backstory.
It’s that most people have marriage completely backwards. I know I did.
I thought marriage was a finish line. You find the person, you commit, and problems get easier because you’re so committed. Happily ever after. Roll credits.
Turns out that’s a fantasy society buys into.
Marriage isn’t a finish line. It’s a starting line.
Marriage is the process of recommitting to the same person over and over, especially when you don’t feel like it.
And once I saw that, I realized I’d been thinking about everything else in my life wrong too.
The people who win aren’t the ones who never fall.
They’re the ones who’ve mastered the art of beginning again.
Dyson wasn’t special because he had some superhuman discipline. He just understood something most people don’t: every failed prototype was one step closer to the one that worked.
And here's what most people forget when they're starting over for the third or fifth or twentieth time: You're not starting from zero, you're starting from experience.
Your health, your finances, your relationships, your work. The answer is the same for all of it.
So… what are you committed recommitted to?
Life Updates
That's a new record
Last week's newsletter broke the record for most replies I've ever gotten. You guys ate it up. It's about the one thing most people overlook but affects you every moment of every day. Won't spoil it here, but if you missed it, you can read it here and let me know what you think.
New video
Everyone's favorite topic: books. Pulled five that don't get talked about enough imo and aren't your typical self-help picks. If you're building a reading list for the year, this one's for you.
Back from vegas
Had my bachelor party last weekend. Seven of the most important people in my life flew out. Hit a buffet, seahawks won, and got cleared out at the baccarat table (only down 1k though, so I'm calling that a win lol)
Hormozi x Tony Robbins
If you're a business owner, this is a must-watch. Reflects breakthroughs I had years ago, stepping out of grindset culture. I think Alex got four questions in the entire 60 minutes. Worth a watch.
See you next Saturday,
CK