The two phases that run your life

Missed last week? Catch up on the archive here​

Hey Reader,

An old business coach of mine told me something I didn’t fully understand yet.

“Zero to 100k is about what you say yes to. A hundred to a million is about what you say no to.”

I nodded, wrote it in my journal, then went home and said yes to four things I had no business doing.

Two years later, I realized this wasn’t a business principle. It was a life principle. Your career, dating life, side projects, all run on the same two phases.

And most people are stuck in the wrong one without knowing it.

The two phases

This is an idea I’ve been building out lately. It’s a generalization and there are obviously exceptions, but it’s a pattern I keep seeing in my own life and in the people I talk to.

At any given time, you’re in one of two phases: Yes Phase or No Phase.

Yes Phase

This is when you don’t have your thing yet. You’re exploring, experimenting, trying stuff without knowing where it leads.

For the entrepreneur this is testing niches, platforms, and business models.

For the person making a career change, this is giving yourself permission to not know yet, explore and reinvent yourself.

Yes phases feel scattered from the outside, but they help you find what’s worth committing to.

No Phase

This is what comes after you’ve found your thing.

You stop exploring and start building. You say no to the side projects, the shiny ideas, jumping on “quick calls” because every yes is now stealing energy from the thing that’s actually working.

This is where all the advice about discipline and deep work finally applies. But if you’re still in a Yes Phase, that same advice can actually hurt you. You’ll force commitment to something you picked out of pressure instead of something you found through exploration.

Neither phase is better or worse, you need both at different times in your life.

But making the right move at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.

These phases alternate, and the goal is to fully own whichever one you’re in instead of fighting it.

What this looks like

When I was in my 20s and 30K in debt in my mom’s basement, I entered my massive Yes Phase.

I started posting on YouTube with no clue where it would go. And my content was all over the place: fitness content one week, marketing the next, books, relationships, mindset, whatever I felt like speaking about on that monday.

But when I was ready to go full-time, I knew I needed to pick a lane to stay in. I had posted a few videos on journaling and book reviews that I was genuinely passionate about, which resonated with people, and self-improvement became my thing.

Once I had the direction, I locked in.

No Phase came when I only did YouTube. I said ‘no’ to posting on five different platforms and ‘yes’ to focusing on one. Five years later I launched my coaching program and went even deeper into my no phase, saying no to podcast invites, collabs, interviews, everything that wasn’t my one thing.

That lasted about four years. Then two years ago I felt that chapter closing.

So I closed my coaching program, got engaged, and opened back up intentionally. Started this newsletter. Made a list of 100 ideas that sounded fun and started checking them off.

And now, looking ahead, I can feel myself gearing up for another No Phase.

That’s how it works.

You open, you close.

The same way you have to stay in a bulk long enough to build muscle or a cut long enough to lose fat, you have to give each phase enough time to actually see results. And the people who bounce back and forth too quickly are the ones who never see progress in either direction.

So here’s my advice to you.

If you’re in a Yes Phase right now, own it.

Explore, have less on your schedule so you have more room to find your thing.

And if you’re in a No Phase, own that too.

Go deep, stop chasing every new idea that floats by.

Most people already sense which phase they’re supposed to be in. They just haven’t given themselves permission to trust it yet.

Maybe this is your permission.